random crappity crap crap

holy crap shit, it has been too long...but once im on this electric god, it is mostly to do frontierville, cos im a dork like that...i am hoping that once ziggys reopens that i will be able to start interviewing again..but that is just a wish...saw stretch in the market the other day, and he tried diverting himself so much as not to be seen...come on man, you are like 8 feet tall with 6 feet blond dreads...whatever...its not like i was going to talk to him or anything...the only one of importance is jay...
what else??? well i have been insane ever since my mom biffed it and broke her knee, wrist and hip...she was in a rehab/nursing home til yesterday...all she did was bitch bitch bitch about that place...and now she calls me saying it was a big mistake to go home and i need to go more than three times a week...
that is fine and all cos mai is in skool 5 times a week and chuck is off at work or whatever, but im like, huh??? am i a physical therapist? can i administer drugs without stealing the good ones...lol...
i dunno...i mean yesterday after i dropped her and mai off at home and peanut and i got home, we took a nap...when we woke up i was in the best mood ever...i think it was my body and brain both saying you dont have to ride up and down westchester in high point to visit and do errands for tia and then going to my moms rehab to do the same...
my mom has this beautiful saying that i feel like hitting her when she says it...a son is your son til he finds a wife, a daughter is yours for the rest of your life...ok, no...i already have back up elderly plans if goodness forbid chuck is not around anymore...k&i will grow old and bitch and take care of one another in our house, until the city kicks us out for too many ferrets and lizards and such...and then in the nursing home we will steal the other ol ladies pills and trade...
i mean i say this all in jest but i am like ugh and foo...i do not know...i really do not know...
and i have NOT EVEN WATCHED DONNIE DARKO THIS YEAR...what is happening to me??? what kind of october is it?? havent even listened to late october by matt keating...well i was more waiting on cooler weather cos it is not the same when it was hot...so now i will sing it in my head...
and tomorrow, is halloween...mai is going to be a mad hatter and peanut phineas monkey is going to be a cowboy..he has the cutest boots and hat ever!!! mai's costume is bad ass but i spent a pretty penny at the store who fired me...well it was not the store, nor the rest of the employees just a sexist, tattoo hating, latina hating man who narced on me for missing days...and i never worked with the fukr...but such is life..everything happens for some reason that i will never know...
and i will post some pics that i already have on facebook but fuk it, this is my world, this is mine, this is my world, this is ALL mine...thank you filter for that last line...

moms disaster

well this weekend my mom biffed it down two stairs, or i may say up two stairs..broke her wrist, hip and knee...fabulous huh? surgery was yesterday and went splendidly...
unfortunately, since they do not consider tia to be an able body to watch her, physical therapy will have to be done in a nursing home...so just about 10 weeks out of commission...
but here lies my problem, well not problem, but something for which i seek a solution...
tia is 88 and she is my grandma's sister...she lives with my mom cos she used to live with her daughter but she passed away from leukemia years back...she tried staying with claras husband and he had no problem..tho then came the new wife...she had no problem either but tia did...
hence the move up here...
now tia is alone and i make sure to visit her every time i go up to see my mom...she has her independence with cooking cleaning and the whole 9...but she is 88...now my mom leant her van to some chick who had to take tia to her doc appt, and promised she would visit tia at least 3 times a day...yeah she took her to her appt on monday..hasnt been there since...so my mom is recalling van rights so that i may drive back and forth without worry of breaking my mother in laws car...good cos i said that shit from the get go that the woman was not going to do such a thing...
i call tia constantly, i mean she is the only link to my grandma besides my mom...i was a teenage bitch to my grandma and wish i could take it back...so i am compensating with tia...but i love this woman...
it pains me that they told her to go to a home in miami...her grandkids visited once in 5 years and it was only cos she was going from jersey to florida and she could stop in nc...but her grandson? never...and this boy is balling with money...
wtf does hel do??? i can send mai for the weekend but mai traps herself in my moms bedroom playing games and watching tv...how many 11 year olds want to watch over an older person? not me when i was her age...i mean peanut is a completely different gig...he is a baby...and tia is an independent woman who is just to high in age to drive herself to med appts, or pick up meds(mind you she is in very good health, just meds for i guess her heart, but that keeps it in check)or even go to the dang supermarket...
how can people be like that? well i am more content and have more respect for my oldest brother cos he lives very close, and he is calling tia too, but he has stepped up with mom big time..last time last year when my mom had her knee operated on(yes same knee broken..my mom said she went through all that work last year for nothing)anyhow, he was there but not but his wifes family was in a mess as far as people passing away and him missing so much skool(he is a teacher)...but none the less he has stepped on up...in my moms case which is at least one thing off my back...
but dearest tia...
ugh

yesterday i got offered a job at the local gas house which is like a drive thru gas station with cigarettes,lighters, gum, blunt tubes...lol...lets see those hours...
ok, k you already know all this so if it is you then i am just tooo mad at that bitch who took my mom's van and promised the world but gave her shit...rights revoked...
ok thats it..

september already?

well it has been quite a bit...i have a few things to say...well more than a few things..
mai started the 6th grade, peanut turned one...time flippin flies...had a job at a chiropractic office which started out as a collections rep, then the doctor(if i can even call her that) gave me a four hour crash course on the system, and then said ok, its ur turn...ok by that point, all numbers looked chinese...so she was kinda ill that i did not catch on in those four flippin hours...so she said that i could be the "director of marketing" so i start giving ideas on how we can get people in, and her response was sounds great, but make the phone calls from the leads...wait, that sounds like telemarketing...
then thank the good Lord that the halloween store posted their ad on craigslist...worked there, i want to say like 3 years ago or so...they took me on without even saying a peep...we have a store at thruway which we have been setting up..then today we had a soft opening...not bad, i have to say...
plus we are yet to open the hanes mall locale, but being it is smaller, we are focusing on the big one...
but i have spent time over in hanes...not much, because it is just repetitive costumes and such from the other store being put in whatever spot they fit in...i hope i get to stay @ the thruway store, but they are considering me for a floater back and forth where they may need someone with"experience" this is only my second season...lol..
what else??? not much,well really a lot, but being i have been suffering from a horrid stomach bug since sunday i am clustered...i havent been able to hold down food for nothing...chuck was like take a pregnancy test, to which i replied, my tubes are cut, tied and burned...but regardless he was flippin until i reminded him my monthly friend was only a week ago...tmi? probably but since no one reads this anyway, this is whatever i want to write...
oh another exciting thing is that ziggys is reopening...i am hoping i can get in touch with jay so he can hook me up with some bands to interview...he never sold out like all the pr people from the record labels...lol...not really laughing more like weeping out loud...
well charley fell asleep on mai and i have to do the transference from her to the bedroom, without waking him...but he is definitely chuck and mine cos he sleeps like there is nothing else in the world...how i wish i could sleep like that...i do sleep deep but wake up like 100 times a night, thinking i am late for mai's skool...then if i take a nap b4 work, same shit, thinking i will be late...i have a bottle of tylenol p.m. but i dont like being stupid clustered in the morning...
ok
i
am
done
for
now...
late

well i have really nothing going on...peanut is sleeping, chuck is in the pot, and i am lying here...i keep refreshing craigslist and checking my email, waiting for the phone to ring, but alas, no...so i said let me go ahead and write..
ok, i am pissed cos this childrens home(which i sent an email)have not responded me...i asked to take mai and give some of charley's stuff...plus mai even agreed to give up some of the those rubber bands..and nothing...i got the same shit when i asked flat rock(her middle skool) to start a farm at the skool...i had filled out bunches of emails...but such is life...do they think i am crazy? i write very well, not here cos i dont give a shit about elipses and grammar, punctuation...this is hel being able to write which ever way i want..dammit!
what else? its about 2 but i did get all my chores done for the morning, then there is evening ones...but i cleaned the dog lot, set up recycling and put it on the curb...
OMG they are doing an amber alert for a 4 month old, stolen by his daddy...wow...i wish i had information regarding this abduction..i wish fukd up in the head to do shit like this or abuse --physcially, sexually should be, ugh i dont know cos only God can judge, but they are fukrs...
which reminds me yesterday i was downtown and there was a lady with a 1+ year old and like a 4 year old...lil boy running around without shoes in this dirty ass downtown building, but those things happen...but the boy took off and the sister went to get hiim, she shouted across the room, i got him mommie...as she walked back with her brother the mom looked at her and whispered you shout like that again i will slap your goshdarn face...not goshdarn...what do you do when that happens? stay there??? you know that 4 year old takes more care of that kid than the mom does...she didnt even blink when her baby took off...
well chuck is out of the pot and i dont wanna be on blogspot when he gets out...late

monday night

well not much happening here..mai is off at my mums and gets to go to a ranch tomorrow...i have just been busy seeking employment and taking care of my guys...and the wow wows too...what else? i had thought of blogging for a while now, and now i cant recall what it was..did nothing much today--went to the pharmacy, then later on wallyworld with charley and chuck..but chuck made the most delicious chicken legs ever..
oh i recall i actually had 2 beers tonight...chuck calls me sippy cos i literally just take sips, why? i dunno..anyhow, i have not had even a full beer since way before peanut i think...not alkyhol but occassional sips...and hey, im not hating it..tho im too tired to begin with, why would i need another thing to aide that...
well i am going to have meself a bowl of smacks and get to bed i think..too tired to think...

tuesday morning

well good morning!!! i am awake and bathed and ready to go to mai's dentist appointment...well i am not all that ready but the majority is...her appt is not until 830 so i am giving her a smidge more time in bed cos it is literally around the corner...
the job hunt continues..but such is life, many are in the same boat as hel...i also want to share something...its stupid house shit but none the less---yesterday there were literally a sink and a half full of dishes...now, at this point i dont expect them to be done by anyone but me...if it is done it is a bonus...but i dont expect it...so i do all these dishes, wait for them to dry to put them up so i can give peanut his bath...then this morning what do i find? not counting peanuts 4 bottles, a full sink again...then the mud room looks like it exploded...i started to wig out..then i said fuk it..its not like the queen is coming here...i spend too much time wigging out about stupid stuff it isnt funny...
for instance-yesterday we all went to bridge's to meet her boyfriend earl...chuck wanted to take the monte carlo,but was a bit fukd to drive...he insisted..now this car is a big ass boat...1974 i think...i was wigging...then i told myself to shut up, the car was good and i have driven boats before...so to try something new...
i am now going to therapy and altho it has only been one session he kinda made me see a view i never looked at before...fuk it..not really, but dont freak over everything...
so i dunno...maybe my petro of the world will be eliminated one day...i just need to work...thats whats driving me flippin crazy...tho i really cant be crazy cos i am doing what i need to do to look for work...
its crazy to see the glass half full i guess...
my onion and daisy seeds are now saplings...so i need to transplant but that really belongs to the homegrown blog..i may play catch up there later...peanut is so close to walking...he stands on his own for like 30 seconds then plunk...he is talking more often he knows all our names and he tries when you ask him to..he is going to be a year in like 28 days...that is one crazy bit of info...
so i guess ill go outside and smoke my cigarette before i wake mai...
have a good one..late-hel

its already thursday?

wow, it has been a smidge...but not as long as last time..just busy with household chores and the kids...also looking for work...like the last 3 months...cos i decided 3 months ago it would be ok for me to work...
but alas, i got an interview with a chick for apt leasing consultant...ive already done that so i have experience and they need a latina...but she's on vacay this week and will let me know either way next week...
then today i am waiting on a call from a bilingual call center..they had called me before and never called back..then i wrote them saying hey you still have it on craigslist, whats up...he said i had no call center background, and i said oh yes i do, i worked for bellsouth in miami...i told the chick that but i guess she thought i was talking about sprint which was on my resume...b.s. is far back...so he said he would call this morning..but if he doesnt call by 10 then i call him...he's just a recruiter or staffer whatever so i can bug him...
so i woke up early to avoid being caught with sleepy voice, yet i guess my allergies are acting up cos my throat is scratchy, hence i am making green/spearmint tea to soothe it...
what else? well yesterday was fun, but ill start with the day b4...mai was bummed about not doing shit but the pool on the 4th..so we got some sparklers, played in with the hose&shower...yes we have a shower in the backyard...(we are serious about our tanning)(lol) we put peanut in a cooler with water..that was funny...i knew it was a chill day when mai said we should have done this on the 4th it would have been soo much better...
so yesterday i took advantage of the clothes line chuck put up for me(well, us, but me)and mai wanted streaks in her hair so i put some peroxide and told her to sit in the sun for a bit...it was hella hot yesterday, but with mists from the shower she felt better...she lasted a whole half hour..i lasted 2 i think, but i kept coming in...
peanut is almost walking now...he talks a smidge like dada, mama, ba-nana,mmmmmmmmmm (milk),baby and booberry...not boob-ery...boo like blue berries dangit...well i have run out of thoughts this early morning..well its 928 so its not that early..but peanut has a good system, he wakes up at 8 for milk, then goes back to bed until 10ish..so i usually nap with him...but not this morning for me..let me get to that tea cos my throat is really itchy...

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friday

well today has been quite long...no nap and those are needed, but such is life...had a job interview, felt good juju from the ladies, but we will see...im staying positive...then i went social svcs to ask for daycare assistance, there is a waiting list for years and both parents need to be either working or in school..thanks for nothing...went to visit my friend sara before heading to food lion..
ended up at the abc store..made beautiful orange smoothies w/rum...my friend bridge came by and we talked about different herbs...
then off to my moms we went...chilled at the pool...besides going to the bullhole last week, that is not really a pool(chuck hadnt seen him in a regular pool)) so i pretty much sat out...chuck took an awesome pic of me that apparently is ok with him to post.it is an absolutely great picture, but there may be fb freaks looking to get their jollies off from my bikini top up...whatever...
mai convinced us (as always) to leave her at my moms...i really dont mind cos sometimes hel needs a break for a smidge...but i keep expecting her to come downstairs...but no, i am here feeling groovy from said orange smoothie..havent drank liquor in a while...chuck calls me the sipper...cos i can house a drink for over an hour...
isnt this exciting??? well my eyes are shutting..so good nite...

saturday a.m.

well i only woke up three times last night..and the spaces in between were longer than an hour or two..
then at 8 governor peabody needed to have his bum changed and have some milk...luckily he went right back to sleep..at around 845 chuck told me he had some work to do, so i said be careful and passed back out...peanut woke up again at 10 so we are watching saturday morning cartoons..
it has been a few weeks that it has just been me and peanut...with chuck just doing odd lawns here and there, he is home and watching me constantly refreshing craigslist...i also keep sending out his resume for jobs i can assume he can do...i have had one response in all these weeks for me...they were all thrilled i had years of call center experience, then asked if i had any experience in insurance and benefits...i said no, they said they will call back..two days later, nothing...now why do that?? if you have my resume stating the call center and you see it was for a phone company and not health benefits, then why the fuk call me...such is life...i am still on the prowl...
i have decided i need a job in corporate america...altho its not what i want, it is the benefits and pay my family needs...so the search continues...there are some jobs i want to apply for, but i make more on umemployment than spending gas for a part time gig...
what else??? going to pick up mai...later on today...oh, i signed up for school...being that ftcc is being little bitchasses i decided to write to univ. of phoenix...i looked at a whole bunch of others online, but all of them had like a 20 percent retention rate...and graduation rate of 45 percent...at least univ of phoenix has a 70 percent retention rate, and an 83 percent graduation...that made me feel a smidge better..
thinking of staying on the psych road but have also contemplated medical coding..i know i would hate it, but they get paid buku money...and they are always a trillion jobs for them...i dont think that job is going anywhere anytime soon..everyone needs a doc every once in a while. and i guess all that get coded..
well what to say what to say...i think that is it for now...late-hel

new day

my sleeping habits are quite disconcerting...peanut is a good sleeper with an occasional waking but he just needs to be given his blanket...me, on the other hand, wake up every 1 or 2 hours like clock work...it is so ugh...
im constantly zombiefied...i try and nap throughout the day, but alas, my brain is on fast foward all the time...over thinking things all day long...looking for work is bugging the fuk out of me too...i have sent out so many resumes and i thought being bilingual would help...not really...
my eating habits are absolutely horrid...losing 54 pounds since last year(well peanut made me lose about 25 pounds or so, the rest was after...but my metabolism must be screwy cos i dont eat during the day(not to starve, just not hungry--maybe a snack or two) but night time hits and my stomach opens...most people who eat and go to bed gain weight, i dont...i am not complaining but i seriously eat the house...no shit...
so what to do...i dunno...just sit here on the puter, constantly checking craigslist, all the other help wanted sites that just want you to sign up for offers of schooling and such...
what the fukn hell???
and the fact of the matter is, that i do not want to leave peanut already..but he is almost a year, and thats when i started leaving mai...but it still sucks...looking for third shift positions...none to be had cos i have no experience in those areas...i would so work in a warehouse/factory what have you...the age old question---how do you get a job without experience? how do you get experience without a job...
but my farm is going well...i posted pics on the homegrown blog...and i keep applying for grants, but the pepsi grant is much more easy than government ones...
i will be patient...and peanut is now wanting to be carried or out and about so he whines quite a bit...i cant carry that 25+ pound boy everywhere...
i am just blah right now...not the best time to write, i guess...

wowsers

well it has been a while and i am quite brain dead right now cos i was up late and woken early, anyhow i decided to add some misc pics..i finally uploaded them to my puter from facebook...

oops

been a spell..just wanted to announce i have started a pepsi grant and need all the help i can get to vote for me...but news to come next month...pics will be uploaded tonight of how big the babies are...proud mama...

tuesday

well lost is over and done, and i feel satisfied with the ending...it gets an 8, so no more lost blogs unless i have to comment...
so the last two days i have been bombarding craigslist to sell, and look for work..ugh and foo...still growing the garden, the rain is doing it well...and have apple tree seedlings coming up, got tarragon and cilantro going too...well at least here...
i feel like if someone calls about a job i will have to have them clarify which one...ill just say i remember even if i forgot...
oh and i answer these questions for a site like kgb...the ones with the cell phone texted questions...called ChaCha...its fun..i spend my days doing it for pennies, literally...and i found yet another small grant...
im sooo super pissed that i am going to call the school board cos i have written emails, and called regarding a farm at the locales...no answer...do they think i am kidding? im trying to help your school, it makes it look good and healthy...and kids will learn to grow and nurture...but whatever the hell...im not blogging this on my HOMEGROWN site cos i dont want them to find this one in case they ever do go my way...so that is one grant and then i want to try and get one from pepsi too...
if not ill find a skool no doubt..maybe i should try colleges? like school of the arts or something...itll be student community farm...hmmm...we will see...
peanut is playing in the playpen, laughing and crying all at once...he stands up now, well makes himself stand up on the side of the playpen....he has to be caged until i get those gates...cos he is mr scooter...
peanuts name has to change cos their is another peanut at mai's games and i dont like it i tell u...trying for tre...he is charley of course, and bumble...and sir gruntenfart...
have a good one!

the end is near...

yes i will have to blog before and most likely after...
today is the last episode of lost...
im a smidge of a dork, but if i have a friend(even in my head) for five years, knowing they are getting killed off left and right is upsetting...i mean im not crying..(yet)..mai is at the neighbors house cos she knows at 8 she is going upstairs...i dont care if she doesnt go to bed...just stay away..or if needed for taming of peanut...he is teething his top teeth now, so nights have been sooo fun...
chuck is cooking the ribs i brought home with corn on the cob...i was gonna do it but maybe he took over, and i am more than obliged...
wanting to take a nap a bit cos peanut is sleeping..i just dont want to wake up ill or anything...hmmm...
i wont wake up ill...too much, way too much...and dinner is almost ready...and mai just walked in the door...
til later
hel

lost and twisters...

wait i guess i will begin that mai's team is still undefeated...they won 13 to 3...she hit her first single...but ended up being brought in by stealing...and she got the game ball...she is like over the moon...i am too...she needed that hit...
well yay twisters, but it happened the same night of lost, which it tends to do a whole bunch...there are 2 more before the end...tonight was about the kids, i liked it, cos of course they have to throw a bumload of info to us now cos there is little time...cos i know last episode killing off sun and jin and sayid...it was like bam, bam, bam...jack is obviously the new jacob, locke the man in black...notice-they never called him by name--mai had googlie eyes for the young man in black...i was like GO TO BED!!! i cant predict the end, although i have ideas, but i dont wanna look like i have thought this much about lost, cos some would say that is kinda dorky like the trekkies...but i dont give a rats bum...(sorry if i offended any trekkies...)
so lost is wrapping up folks...over..i swear even talking about it knocks a little breath out of me...sigh...i just know that if the island flippin disappears as the end i will flipshit...absolutely...i have mentioned that many times...
i will end with a little music note that i found funny...i was dling songs to mai's mp3 and she wanted sick puppies and i typed it just like that...she said no mommie i have watched it a trillion times its sic puppies...i was like burn...music guru knocked the hell down...lol...but at least i am slowly convincing her that beiber sounds like a chick, cos he does...poor thing...justin timberlake sings high but he dont sound like no chick...ugh and foo..but you see how i just constantly at least mention something music related...
much obliged for ur time...late

monday, already?

well another monday...but peanut has been more than great today, or at least thus far...we slept in til 10...very nice...but i came to blog about mothers day cos it was awesome...
well i got to sleep in while mai watched mr.peanut phineas monkey...then i woke up to chuck cleaning the kitchen and back room...so i shut my happy ass up and tried to start on the bathroom, he would not accept it...then mai gave me a glass paper weight that is absolutely fabulous...what else? oh flowers from the garden, and some fake ones too, but they are soo pretty and apparently hand painted and some jazz...then chuck went to the store, and mai went to play with her friend, i figured this has been nice...
when chuck got home he forbade me to go in the kitchen...then him and mai went upstairs and were gone forever...but when they came down, they had made a pop up card that is too cute..
then chuck asked if i was ready, i knew we were going somewhere but not told where...we went to grand or grant park i dunno near downtown in the "historic district" it was super pretty...and then we had a picnic...so special...besides my first ever mommies day 11 years ago this has to come in close second...
so that is about it for my summmary about mommies day...want to get some stuff done today so i will leave you be..
have a good one...

last night

well last night i was quite tired and bout passing out...forgot to mention that barfly was on last night...i happen to dig that movie quite a bit...mickey rourke is more than amazing...bukowski is actually in the movie in one of the bar scenes...i cant talk enough about the late charles bukowski...
now i am jonesin to read some, but quite frankly, i cant do that right now...this afternoon we have to go up to the land and finish weeding and such...but i am waiting to pick up mai cos she can help out too...
well peanuts sleepy breath is making me too sleepy too...so let me get back to reality and do dishes, laundry, etc...
later skaters.

in addition to old review

well writing the old review of WITH TEETH years back made me sad...cos of course now it said nine inch nails is no more. could trent really do this? i saw him a year and a half ago, and eventhough he looked like a nontatted henry rollins i did not care. had an absolute ball...
but nin no more? why? it was said-i watch and read way too much info on music entertainment-that it takes too much out of him to make these albums. he wants to focus on his fiance and the family he wishes to have. so many tweets were sent to him about this, that he closed it down...stating that the remarks of yoko ono to his future wife was indeed not needed...
what else can be said? i have yet to get my nin tat cos i cant do it myself cos i cant reach there...but i will do it regardless of his attitude...nin filled too much space of my life in the soundtrack in my head...it happened the other day when i posted a pic from the concert on my facebook...i literally wrote the whole song everyday is exactly the same through comments...
so so sad...so much ending...including lost...damn i had to fit that one in as well...

old review

NINE INCH NAILS-WITH TEETH

After years since THE FRAGILE, trent reznor finally decided to gift us with this album. i even have to do this whole article in lower case in homage to him. I have been a NIN fan for as long as i can recall, 'bout 90 or so for pretty hate machine. I have dug most of his albums since them. I mention this only before this album, trent did it all by himself via mixing and such. Only for touring would he bring his band in. This album, though, he had a band the entire time through(including help from dave grohl on drums for a few songs). songs like "hand that feeds", "everyday is exactly the same" are amazing. It has been mentioned that this is also trents first album completely drug free. Sometimes it makes the music change or sound change, but i really do not think so. trent reznor stated in Revolver magaizine that fans would not have to wait 4-5 years between each album.
I must give nine inch nails a 5 star review. Although a bit biased, i am sure that most of you will give it at least 4. this album says that they are no longer on a downward spiral. Like how i fit that in? Dynamic lyrics with emotion, great music.

just a wrap up i guess

well this evening was chill, took mai to her game, where the twisters remain undefeated 7-0...yeah i said it...another game on saturday...ummm im just really tired cos of the manual labor and sun...i just wanted to write to write tonight...happens...even to the best of us...
why do i even bother to have fb friends who wont follow me? is this shit just boring? i dunno, maybe dont give a shit to even come for a visit...
im just tired...all in all, good day...with a few moments...here and there...but that is none of your dang bizness...lol...

and with this song i bid you goodnight...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SARB4D0TDxU

today

well this morning started off with my mom waking me by knockin on the door...chuck had taken mai to skool and just let me sleep...so i got dressed and got the heck out...she had me take her to t-mobile to swap out her phone, cos i am the queen of upgrades and switching out phones...lol
from there we went to the farm where i proceeded to weed, but my mommie made me stop cos i was working too hard..lol...but with the sun it wasnt that bad place to stop for today...nice blisters going on but such is life..
then we went to go pick up mai at skool, we were going to wallyworld cos today is fs day! but guess what? no flippin foodstamps...well that means tomorrow i am going to have to sit my happy bum downtown to get it figured out...even with going at the buttcrack that is where i will be most of the day...fooey
mai had praktice last night and they have a game at 630 tonight...i can not afford these games for real...everytime, no matter what i bring with me, it is not suffice for mai...ugh...i bought her a 12 pack of gatorade...she would forget to put it in the freezer, and get mad at me...then i would do it, and the other day i looked in her bag iit had like 10 empty ones and 3 empty waters...take it out and put it in the recycling..maybe she is collecting stuff to make something out of recycled water bottles..
my head hurts a smidge from the sun but i stayed hydrated...so i am good for now...now i am waiting for chuck to get out of the shower so i can eventually take one...today...ideally before the game...eventho i did bring a change of clothes for the farming time...
what else??? well at least chuck is going with us tonight...maybe my happy ass can stay home...or go to saras...i need a break today...oh one more thing...i had made arrangements with sprint to pay next tuesday...guess what the girl wrote it wrong in the notes...now, since i forget everything, i write it all down in my calendar...so the guy was chill but said i had to pay something...foo there was 50 bones i was not expecting to spend, so my mom covered it...then i got the lecture of where does my money go? im 34 years old...dont you think i already think about this shit???
once again such is life...
wish the twisters luck...late-hel

tonights lost

holy shitfuk...kate got shot, but you know she wasnt going to die...cos its kate...i soooo thought jack would have to give sawyer mouth to mouth, then suddenly my dream was crushed cos sawyer spit it out himself..
anyhow, sun & jin beautiful, i know they died but that love...altho as a mom i would have told him to save himself to take care of their kid, but thats what i think...so desmond is what now? apparently jack is jacobs role now...good and eville...nice...
que mas? soo much is happening so fast...is their dream world the real world or the other way around..i was also waiting for jack to tell sawyer on the sub that nothing would happen to them with the bomb...i wanted to hear we are already dead...
back to desmond is he whitmores lackey or the islands?
i am just so sad cos i feel it coming to that end...a part inside of me looses breath when i think about it...
ok im tired...so i am going to bed...just recapping and ill prolly have more tomorrow, or not..
have to go out to the farm to hoe the land..yeah i walked into whatever joke you are thinking..and transplant my corn babies. but my mom is coming to help watch peanut...i really should do my other blog about the farming but as i said, hel is hella tired..and i would have more info tomorrow anyways...nite..

sunday

well today has been sooo long...first i went to high point to pick up miss monkey from my mom's house...that wasnt so bad...
then came back home to find my husband continuing his painting truck project, when i reminded him about peanuts friends 1st bday party...we had a great time...mai and peanut super duper enjoyed themselves...
well when we got home the humidity had me ill...so i sent mai to her friends next door and chilled out with a half naked, well naked cept for diapers and a bib, bumble...its a smidge more than hot but such is life...
well mai came back home at 9...took her shower and looked like she had been crying...turns out the girl next door had decided to tell her, when it is dark spirits are everywhere...
i had to reiterate, if that be the case, they have to get past me to get to her...and the only ones around her are her guardian angels...
i really foresee a really easy night of sleep for her...NOT!!!
i still have the same clothes to fold since yesterday...they continue to haunt me so i draped a towel over them...too hot to fold, too hot to do anything...mai asked me for dinner and im like its 9 at night, you shouldve come in earlier...you think i was going to cook just for her tonight??? nope...but i broke down and made her a chicken sandwich which was easy and not hot in the kitchen...just micro and toaster oven and happy goodness for her...
i am so erratic with eating...today i had toast at like 1, then at the party i had a hamburger, & cake...now for dinner-nothing...i took my seizure med, and it does not need to be taken with food...its this weather...
too bad i never stopped eating from heat in miami, cos then i wouldnt have those horrid extra, extra pounds back then...so my best diets thus far are-#1 pregnancy #2 ulcer & #3 humidity...im good though...
well i have my kids sprawled out on the floor for tummy/scooting like a madman time...and mai doesnt mind being right down there too...
alrighty then...later skater(s)

wait its now 11 and i forgot to post so nothing much great but i dunno if i need to mention that mai's softball team remains undefeated...sup?

no no no!!! perez!!! no no no!!

i have been saddened by an article or more like a webclip of jared leto on perez hilton...totally saying he is a douche bag and his music suks...now perez is from miami and cuban so i totally had to be into his blog cos its unity...lol
but as one of my fave quotes from donnie darko-"he can go suk a fuk" altho he already does...dayum i say...
there is only a couple of handful of friends in my head that can not be ranked on...jared leto(as in a post a few days ago)is flippin genius...not sooo much cos he is beautiful, but the fact he acts, sings, and overall makes hel happy...
so perez i bid you adieu and will keep on keepin on with tmz and superficial...thats what you get...

a kind of retraction on stone temple dorks

now, i dont want to retract the entire blog...yes i am completely disappointed with the new single, i may need to hear more...but i reeeeallly dont dig the first one..
now what this is really about...i cant talk smack about stp...they just fit in my life soooo perfect when they were around...i dug every album...no lie..scott weiland was a good friend in my head...
----side note---at bellsouth i had a picture of scott weiland, well a whole page ripped from a mag..it was scott completely nude playing the piano...you could not see anything but his naked body from the side sitting down...this was posted in a prominent area of my cubicle...never once did anyone notice, or just say anything, that he was like that...cos the pic was badass...---
anyhow, the last few days older stp songs have been on, i think more than usual...so i realized i couldnt really talk smack..stone temple pilots played a good soundtrack in my day...so how could i? i just hope they dont loathe me now...or at least be mad at me in my head...after all they've been friends up there for quite a long time....
now i never said i was not a dork...

its already thursday

wowsers---did not think the week would fly by sooo fast...that work was quite manual yesterday and needless to say i am beat big time...so i am giving myself til 11 to get going again...not over in rural hall, just round southside...i sound soo ghetto dont i??? but i worry cos my cell phone is red...do i need to get a cover post haste? i kinda laugh the whole gang thing off, but that cant be done...i never got it in miami either...but i guess people with small esteem need to click onto whoever will take em...
i wouldve recommended the burnouts...they dont kill anyone,kiddies...maybe just their brains..or they could go the route of one of those super awesome kids in the corner with their little notebooks...they never kill anyone either...wait, maybe themselves..ugh i am awful, my brain isnt on yet..ill get back later..

farm day

well the day has been quite long, and i wont go into the whole growing, planting, hoeing, and all that jazz...thats for the other blog...
so i was up in rural hall, then drove back to pick up mai, then right back to rural hall...we just literally got home at 8...so its going to be totinos time real soon...
i have almost typed my elliott smith article from years back, to post it here...it must be read...i dug it...
but i dig even the stoopid things i write...or then i dont, and tend to throw it away or plain delete it...or if its in a comp book, it will stay with a big giant X...cos you know you cant rip pages out of a comp book...well you can but then you gotta take out the same page from the back or you mess it up...
i just realized how much i have written...not in my life cos that would be uber amounts...but you know what i mean...wow...only published 17 times...and that sounds so ungrateful and that is the furthest from the truth...i have met bands and interviewed people i never ever thought i would...but i dug my lil writing gigs...kinda miss them...
well the totinos is ready and peanut is hungry too, plus it is jammy jam time folks...
later skater

elliott smith article

disclaimer--this was written years back when i wrote for a zine called amps 11...it was out of Charlotte...so i could not find the hard copy and felt ever so sad..but then today i found the notebook which i wrote it in...and it reminded me of the random cat who sent me a shirt of elliott smith cos he concurred with me...now its up to you...
OK i was going to go through and fix all the grammatical errors and such, but its my blog and i'll do what i wish...

elliott smith-apparent suicide or unsolved murder?

I first ran across elliott smith's "from a basement on a hill" in the record store i work in. i questioned the staff members who gave me the pertinent info on the man. it got me to thinking, more like submersing myself into anything that pertained to elliott. then after a couple of weeks, yes i said weeks, i found out that he had been dead for a bit. totally taking me off guard. i decided to find out more. I picked up a copy of "elliott smith and the big nothing" by benjamin nugent. i learned much about his dysfunctional adolescence, to become the singer/songwriter we are all aware of. Yet the book would mention quotes of elliott's interviews. Then when friends were asked about it, they recalled no such occasion. So it made me think that he was either a confused man in the fantasy world he had created. Or then again, he would've been a great actor. He was able to change into what people wanted him to be. He was a beautiful lyricist, so much so he was nominated for an Oscar. The song Miss Misery was in the movie "Good Will Hunting" and much of the remaining soundtrack is also him. Unfortunately for him, he was up against Celine Dion's Heart will go on business.
At this point he had broken away from his original college band---Heatmiser--. I heard a copy of "mic city sons" Elliott and his band mate Neil Gist would alternate singing songs. Very obvious which were Mr. Smiths. His melodies, his almost whisper like singing, broke him apart from all the others.
Other noticeable notes that you should take down are that are of utter importance. He began his solo career with either/or. That is a great album, with songs like "big nothing" & "pictures of me". Other albums include-roman candle, figure 8, not in correct order, sorry. His final gift was "from a basement on a hill" which was released after his death.
Slowly I learned more about what was behind his death and i became a detective of sorts to see what i could find out. Some have said it was an apparent suicide. It was believed that there was a note that said "i'm sorry, elliot" Now just so you know his real name was Stephen Smith, but in college he adopted the name elliott. After ten years did he forget how to spell the name he had chosen for himself? The story released was that his girlfriend came home to find him with a knife coming out of his chest. He was rushed to the hospital, and surgeons were successful repairing the tears in his heart. Despite that, he passed only hours after the surgery. Initially it was ruled a suicide, but then it was changed to a possible homicide. The reasons that I learned from the book by Mr. Nugent was it was changed into a homicide for three different reasons. Unfortuately it is not direct quotes from the book, but I will give you the jist. There was that suicides who stab themselves will hurt themselves but not kill themselves. The second was his girlfriend refused to talk with the police about it. Last but not least, there were no hesitation marks, and his shirt was still on. Now what is odd about it, is if he was going to stab his heart, that is not typical for a stabbing suicide. Also there were no hesitation marks. That would be present because the person trying to kill themselves will not intitally get it right through the first time, so there would be marking or cuts around the main stab.
There was no sign of forced entry and that could make anyone think, he actually did it. Like other ongoing investigations such as Kurt Cobain, Tupac, Notorious BIG, even going as far back as Jim Morrison and Elvis. Will Elliott Smith be another unsolved music artist murder? I know he does not rank as high as the others mentioned, but he did have a great following in college radio.
So it seems that Elliott Smith put on his most intense final show of his life taken by himself. To many questions to be leave me unsettled. Surely you may feel the same way at this point. I will surely suggest picking up a copy of "Elliott Smith & the Big Nothing" and all, yes every single one of them, of his music. See if you can decipher what many like me, are still wondering. How literal was he when he sang-"not surprised at all but really why should i be? so sick and tired of all these pictures of me, completely wrong, totally wrong..." Many of his songs are known to have double meanings with drug references or maybe that is what he wanted us to believe.
Maybe he should have won that Oscar after all, but in a completely different category.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHDbCC0Ongs
this is my fave song by him...it was also in the movie-the royal tenenbaums, ironically when luke wilson's character is trying to commit suicide...

post litho appointment

well yay is all i can say..the doc said i look much better...then he also apologized (but not directly)because he said that my stone(although low in the kidney and non obstructive)upon further review of the cat scan, it was jagged like a star...so he said the meds were justified and he had contacted my primary care doc already...so they did an xray---perfect...then i told him about the nausea & unswallowing gig, and he said that sometimes cos the anesthetic will cause the espohagus to relax, and takes some time to get back to normal on some ppl...but to check up if it continues for more than 3 more weeks...great, ill just enjoy my "diet" for now...
i am more than elated folks...it is amazing that i was finally justified and the pain wasnt in my head...he gave me tips to avoid getting more..believe it or not, it is not cranberry juice(he said that is for uti's)and to drink lemonade...also 20 oz of soda, and a cup to two of coffee is ok as long as i flush it with water and lemonade...
yay...i also lost 2 more pounds..but that is prolly unswallowing...but i am beyond words now,. so i will leave it at that for today...

stone temple dorks...

damn i hate to even write that...scott weiland...what the hell???
we all know you were or are quite avid in the world of illegalities...now he has cleaned up...uh huh...
reminds me of a concert at bayfront park back in the late 90s...(((groovy flashback music)))
now i do not recall who went with me to this concert, nor who else played...cos my world was seeing stp live...songs like big bang baby, plush, sex type thing, trippin on a hole in a paper heart...but he comes out with a beanie that said sober...or some shit like that...
he was singing awfully...no lie...and i love stp, and i dug him even when he went on his acid trips that he did not return from...
so i scream, during songs, you were better fukd up...now mind you it was gen admission...so to say i was in the 3-4 row, which was absolutely unacceptable, i liked getting slammed against the fence over and over just to see the artists...so going back to my fukd up statement...there was this huge guy next to me, not only big and tall, but scary...he said what the fuk did you say?
so i like pushed my way to the front...the guy lunged at me...but by that point i was those two rows away and had some guys protecting poor dear hel... :) cos i was totally defensless..so i ended up taunting the guy the rest of the concert, cos i would turn around see him, point to me, and point up cos scott weiland was right flippin there...lunged again and i moved my happy ass to the left of the stage...
so that was a fun stp story...i dunno if he heard me, but he knew he sounded better fkd up...so then came velvet revolver years and years later...what in the world was that??? he just got into a band to get heroin easier??? needless to say they are no longer togehter...
now here is where my love/hate comes in for the new stp...their new song between the lines, totally steals the chorus of stay away by nirvana but its their bridge...and it talks about even when we used to take drugs...now great for you scott...but dont ppl say they are sober when they are not, esp, when so adamant about it..
foo, dont get me wrong, i would love love love to interview them, although id be star struck, and writing this blog isnt getting me any closer...i am just upset that they let me and me alone down...why???
i tried to post the lyrics, cant quite locate them right now...but another note-between the lines is the #1 rock song in the country...sad...sad...sad..
i am not saying that he should start doing drugs cos it seems he likes hardcore drugs, but he wasnt bad on mind altering ones like dica...
i know that the stp love affair in my head was in the 90's...and now it seems like i will never get them back... :(

monday...

i wanted to say good morning to monday, but apparently it was really easy to pass out after dropping off mai...that nap is really starting to bug me...i sleep anywhere from 12-645...is that not enough time? cos by the time i return home, i am super exhausted like i have been up for days on end...not even coffee or energy drinks help out when its that tired...its not like peanut isnt the best baby ever...he plays quietly and sleeps next to me...its a beautiful thing...he doesnt wake up at night, only for his allergies cos he doesnt like to be stuffy...(who does?)but in the morning, he wakes just about when i do, then i give him some milk, he either wants to watch cartoons quietly or just goes back to sleep...so when i get home, its soooo easy to sleep cos i focus too much on his breathing...
so how do i conquer this issue??? i need help cos i recall being this sleepy at jobs and stuff but was able to get my work done...could it be cos i am home, and have the easy access of a couch or bed??? that has to be it...i used to wake up at 540 to drive mai to a skool in another county cos we moved close to the end of the school year...so 40 minutes there and back...then got ready for work, and that was that...ugh and foo..
speaking of ugh and foo, tomorrow is the 4th to last episode of lost...i really want to go on about it, but i will leave that for tomorrow when i am weeping, or wednesday so i can weep horribly again...i have to say besides my so called life(which only had 19 episodes)this has been a show i have watched since the beginning...well not exactly, i caught the charlie episode early on and then found out k was into it too...so i had to watch the first few episodes to get caught up..but it was not many... so here i am years and years later with a show that only lasts half a year(if even that) for an hour(or two if they do the explaining episodes of the week before)and now it will be gone...you see??? now i started crying on monday..dangit...i sound like a trekkie...but i guess im cooler...wait! i am cooler, cos lost is sooo much more into reality than the space shows...uh oh, no its not...flashbacks,flashfowards, and flash sideways...
ok i am a bit of a dork, but i dont like about it...
have a happy monday and maybe listen to a happy mondays song..

sunday morning

well slept til 8 when peanut woke me up, everyone else was asleep, so i took mr.bumble out of his playpen, and he slept next to me...
it was beautiful, although a bit snotty...lol..i am happy i just finished selling chuck's hardly used blackberry, and being it was free to begin with...we scored...
what else?? made some brefus for la familia..some eggs, bisquits, bacon, and saus.gravy...just so you know i didnt eat but a small plate...it was more for chuck and mai...its been forever since i have made a big brefus for them...now we are all lethargic..but i started yet another laundry load, and the clothes in the dryer(who have been laughing at me since yesterday)need to be taken out for the wet clothes...and i dont like things laughing at me...
im just glad the whole family is here, even sleep or what have you...so far beautfiful sunday...
did i mention mai's team beat another undefeated team yesterday...thats 5-0 for the twisters...yay!

saturday nap time

well mai's team-the twisters-remain undefeated...yay them...after that i returned home to grab some food and head on over to sara's...i set up google chrome on her puter while mai watched the kiddies..
it was quite fun, but when i got home i felt like i was going to pass out...so i did...not immediately after though...first i made some brownie cookies...well not brownie cookies more like brownie with chocolate chip cookie on top...not good for diabetics...lol...well maybe not laugh but chuckle...
mai now has the yankees game on...she keeps talking to the screen...first time she has actually done that...but she knows she has no choice, the yankees have to be her choice, cos if not my dad would start haunting her in her dreams...now that is a lol...
im anal over the weather on the way...it is definately not as bad as what went over mississippi, and tennessee and such...but last night when i looked at the radar there was a huge blob of red...i was like g-reat..but thanks to our mountains all (it seems) is dissipating over the mountains...but still severe t-storms...and that means mai up my bum cos she is not a happy camper in storms...
reminds me of the time that there was a huge storm at great adventure and my mom gave me a pill...she said it was my seizure medicine...LIAR...seizure meds dont calm you down and make you feel ludey...so all i recall was a small white pill...do you think my mom gave me a zanie or valium or something? in this case(and many others)not like mother like daughter...
what else? oh i think i have someone who is going to buy chucks old blackberry...i think my old one i will sell in parts...cos the screen and case are slightly scratched, or if any of my friends use sprint=holla

happy saturday

well it is just about 9:10 in the morning...mai has to be at the field at 1030...not too thrilled about having a game that early cos i have to get my baggage ready...can i break down for you what i take??? ok i will even if you dont dig it...
*small cooler lunchbox with the jonas brothers on it...(cos you know i dig them)
*my crocheting which the blanket is quite larger and it doesnt quite fit in a normal sized bag..plus i need to do 2 rows a day...at least that is what my plan is..
*peanuts reg diaper bag which is as heavy as him
*his stroller...
thank goodness this place has bleachers cos at the other places you have to bring your own chairs..
my stomach is growling but i dont like brefus cos then i will feel sicker than the empty stomach...maybe just a pop tart...we'll see...
hope someone dug the jared leto blog, but alas i still have only one follower...but i know even if its just daily b.s. that someone besides k will find amusement in it...
if not, oh well, cos it happens to the best of us...
so now i feel so fresh and so clean clean...but its still to early...i know in terms of hour it isnt that bad but i dont dig it for saturday...
tonight we are supposed to get the big ol storms from tenn and it was full of tornados...now i didnt ever have a problem with tornado warnings or watching but since i saw the distruction in high point a few weeks back, i have a few butterflies...maybe that and taking my seizure meds on an empty stomach...fooey...
mai came down as soon as i woke up...i sent her back upstairs after her brefus...can you tell me where she is? on the other couch, but since peanut woke up then its ok i guess...but the cartoons have started already...i just wanted a few minutes to myself, but i guess mommies dont get that until 11 pm or so...
mai went to her dance last night and i was quite amused..mai was all dressed to the nines, and looked quite pretty..my date peanut was quite handsome himself..me? jeans and a shirt...(no, hel is not so much a tshirt chick anymore, well yeah i am but not the huge tshirts i used to wear...i actually get shit on the ladies side now, although guy shirts and jeans still rock, but i must upkeep now...fooey) so back to the dance...mais little crush or whatever followed her around everywhere like a puppy..it was cute..tehn he came up to me and asked me to meet his mom...i was like, oooookay...so i asked her if i am meeting my future in laws..she laughed and said i dunno but it sure feels like it...lol..as for the dj besides him overheating the amp before the dance ended, it was horrid...the electric slide, miley cyrus, britany spears, the only thing i found funny was the chicken dance, cos it reminded me of jason lee on earl... http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/video.php?v=16976011549&ref=mf i hope the link works...
anyhow, that is going to be about it...for right now...
late-hel

ode to jordan catalano aka jared leto.

so last night i was all emotional cos i was watching my so called life on hulu...amazing...i was moved like i was watching it for the first time again...oh,angela...
so this is where jared leto became a friend in my head...got even more props for being the blonde hair pretty boy in fight club...and lets ed norton beat him silly...nice..
now comes thirty seconds to mars...they have been out since i worked at tre and that was forever ago..really dug beautiful lie, and to be honest i only know 2 songs off the new album, but still grand...its not often that actors make it big in the music world...although we do have the bacon brothers...lol...
i actually forgot requiem which was amazing...i have just looked him up on imdb and wow, his list of accomplishments is long...
i dont know why i decided to write a blog about this cat...maybe its cos 30s2m was supposed to be in charlotte on sunday(i think) but jared knew i was not going, so he postponed it til nov, so i can get my hand on tix...
isnt he so nice to me?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001467/

homegrown blog

morning all...i have been working on 2 grants now...so now i have decided to keep this one as my daily journal about family,and random stuff i need to blog about.
i need followers for the new one and ill include the link as well,but it is mainly my farming,ideas,projects and everything else for farm4kids brought to you by HOMEGROWN FARMS. www.farm4kids.blogspot.com
well peanut has a bit of a head cold...chuck blames me for giving him people food from a food place last night...gave him a few pieces of ff and hush puppies...i was worried cos mai has a game tonight and it happens to be an away game in davie...so i know chuck wont be back on time, and i was worried i had to sit in the car with peanut the whole time..but i called the nurse and she said if he is fever free and no cough he should be fine, just keep him warm...i can do that...
still having problems with mais attitude but she is watching her words now..she is tired of being sent upstairs over EVERYTHING she bitches about. and to top this whole joy off, she got a d in math...everything else was a's and b's..i felt shock and terror, but i am not giving my kid an ulcer(unlike me)at such a young age...but the best part was the teacher comment on the bottom-mai is a wonderful student and is progressing well...wtf? a d is progressing well? i dunno...wish it was that way in high skool...she is just stubborn cos she knows she is smarter than that,but now she is becoming her own little young person, but that lil tween or whatever can become her own person as long as her grades improve...i even asked for a conference...that was on monday, it is now thursday...
well lemme get to starting the new blog...if you have garden or farming friends refer them to me...thanks a bunch

all things lost

lost...
it saddens me cos now the episodes are no longer focused on one character but several...and oh so many questions and answers...
i have a feeling the parallel universe or flash sideways is going to crash into the island or the flash sideways is going to take over if they die..or the island will disappear...
it is now quite apparent that desmond is taking the place of jacob...but instead of bringing them to the island(just yet)everyone is slowly coming together...figures that kate would end up with sawyer in the flash sideways...cos thats the kind of whore she is...well last night she apparently chose sawyer over jack...
and who is jacks kids mom??? we know it isnt kate...is it juliet? im thinking that to be so...what else have i concluded that is going to be wrong anyway...im diggin claire is finally a smidge non psycho but maybe she is going to flipshit now that she is taken captive...
another thing i know i am assuming is that locke (aka smokey)is going to smoke widmore or whitmore or whatever the fuk out...why cant he do that already??? save our losties...and jack returning to the island? well in that point in his life, that is all he has...it is not like the flash sideways life at all...
what else is up? smokey wants to leave the island...apparently so he can get out and about...hmmm...only 4 episdodes left...this is quite worrysome...can it all be answered in the next month??? well apparently the sunday before the finale they are having a lost event...itll prolly break all of lost down again with this season included...i am sad inside, cos this (besides my so called life)i have watched to fruition...i have been wanting to use that word for absolute days!!! thats the secret word for today folks,fruition...but if it took me three days to use it somewhere, i doubt anyone will get the secret word...fooey
so lost is so close to ending, what will we do? will there be a reunion show? or will they all die??? if they all die or the flippin island goes poof again, well, i cant even think cos thats like watching a movie that suks at the end...but in this case it has been an hour for half a year for the last five years...so that would suck monkeys...ok enough time to get some stuff done..
thanks for caring..

happy monday

well monday for my working friends is less than thrilling...but i most proclaim from the mountain tops that i am so grateful that the lithotripsy worked...mind you i am not climbing a mountain, so i will use this...dudes, you dont understand what i went through last time...or maybe you do...it was sooo flippin awful...and the bruising..ugh..but now i just have a quarter sized bruise on my back...and after a weekend of not doing a lot(yet still doing stuff)i am feeling sooo much better...
i have found a new grant, and it pertains to having a farm and teaching the children to be lil farmers...so i am going to have more time to get that letter, and i believe that the skool board can give me a letter and the grant people accept it...so all my work was not for nothing...so im not as depressed on that stand point...
my plants are thriving, although my dixie hybrid squash is beginning to fall, so they must be planted post haste...tomorrow i am headed up to the farm to see what i need to do next...what else? my basil looks cute cos they are baby...my other squash has started and so have my peppers...i planted some other this weekend-which include:green pole beans, corn, cilantro, and last but never least-pumpkins!
so now i must think of how to redo my mud room to accommodate my seedlings...and i find myself quite adamant now about farmville...if i cant farm on a flippin game, then i shouldnt farm at all...but this far, my alter ego, glynis is doing just fine...i need more followers so i am making this public..i know some of my friends on facebook are reading this but not following-why i ask? because the ticker keeps going up and i highly doubt k has read this over and over...i know you love me, but i am NOT that interesting...well i am, but not over and over again...well i am but whatever...
well i am going to leave it at that for right now...i hope you are having a fabulous monday...

gardening

well i have yet to put any plants out in that big ol field that i have...but some of my seedlings have popped up...my basil is still little little... but my dixie hybrid(fancy name for yellow)squash is super thriving...good for them...well i am still crazy with my grant but thanks to my dear friend and only follower at this point gave me some awesome advice...although that cuts my budget by like a trillion dollars...but it should be easier...i have to go pick up some more seeds...remember i only thought this was going to be a backyard garden...i know i dont have to fill it up all right now, but one pack of corn and carrots is NOT going to cover it...
the following is what i have in seedlings:
dixie hybrid squash
green striped squash
basil
red & green california peppers
festive pepper mix(this is all multicolored)

what i plan to put directly into the soil(because they were for cool season)thank goodness we hadnt put it in the ground cos we almost frosted the other night,but next week it is all go...
corn
collards
lima beans
onions
scallions
i think that is it for now...
what i plan on growing from seeds as well would be
tarragon
cilantro
rosemary
dill
so that is what i have thus far...any and all recommendations will be taken into consideration..
last things last-my bday is tomorrow...im not diggin being 30...lol...
and a lithotripsy on friday...oh joy...
oh and anyone who is reading this besides my dear k
become a follower
i will be more than content that i can put a name to the ppl glancing..
i know this is not all that fabulous but its my life and my blog...so there...pics should come soon...
nothing but love though..

blogging to blog...

well breaking in the new puter on the internet...but i limit it quite a bit cos every time i open it, it reminds me of the fact that i have to redo that flippin application that took me 2 and a half hours...trying to rock peanut to sleep in his bouncer with my feet..im just beyond clustered...and today my flippin kidney decided to hurt hurt...but im ok...just ill now...chuck went to the doc to remove this really big splinter...they told him (after some attempts)to go to the e.r. he is there and i am here...i dont like that...but kids cant go to the hospital unless they are ill...and its not like i want to take the kids to a hospital...mai is outside playing with her new bff holly...i really want to smoke a cigarette right now but id rather keep peanut in motion for right this second...im getting the kids to bed early so i can actually sit down and try to finish it...well redo the registry and then do the application...my proposal is done and so is my budget but there are 10 questions that say you should devote 2-3 hours to get done..yay....u gotta do what you gotta do...now i have to go for now...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

well i sit here borrowing sara's computer again...trying to fill out some registration that i keep getting kicked off of...without that done i cant submit my grant proposal...which i have gone ahead and written a rough draft...getting the budget done is a completely different matter...mai's softball coach had them there until almost 8...chuck wanted me to get chicken and corn to grill..i was so bummed that i ran my bum home to not have last weeks lost...that sukd...big donkey dick...oh i am so crude...so i sat and watched lost at 9...trying to get that app done at the same moment..it was a good episode and i think i know what they are getting at...but then again it may be completely wrong...still waiting for dinner...yes 10:16 and it is finally in the kitchen cooling...poor mai...but it isnt her fault...her praktice is supposed to be from 5-7 they were there til nearly 8...not cool...i mean do that on saturdays not weekdays...its not summertime...well since this is called helsmusic as my blog name...so i will comment on caged the elephant is great...their songs are catchy and not a style of wierd freaky new stuff that i am not quite used to...but i have heard several songs and i dig him...not like silversun which totally disappointed me...maybe the rest of the songs wont suck...30 seconds to mars is coming soon...how i would love to see them and scream i love you jordan catalano...good times...i wish my so called life wouldve come out earlier in high skool...but such is life...let me serve mai, i am going to wait for chuck to get out of the shower...so wish me luck on the registration...and i believe i will sleep better than last night...went to bed at 1 woke up at 3 then 5 then 7...sukage...alright enough before mai passes out from starvation...

easter

well here i sit at my familia's home for easter...the kids are having a great time, and its safe to say so are the adults...so not a cuban get together...theres no drama or shouting or someone ruining the day...how horrid am i?? lol..well i was thinking that my land area would be some spot in the backyard...they have tilled 30x30 area of land...so now all my schemes and drawings are shot to shit, but hey i have plenty o room to grow stuff now...ok what else??? dont like the new silversun pickups song, so maybe it was just panic switch...who knows?? what else?? well i gotta get back to this grant proposal...and with my kidney being all clusterfukd its hard to concentrate on this, but i will get it done, and whether the govt grants this money to me or not, hel's homegrown will prosper...freaky that north cakalaky has taken any sense of miami away from me...lol... hel growing veggies and herbs? well back in the day i did have a good herb plant...happy easter all!

tuesday

well i have a day chock full of stuff to do today...i am at my kidney doctor trying to figure out this horrid pain in my side...i tried to return my dear friend sara's puter this morning but she did not answer, so like a big ol dork-i took it with me inside this place...not only taking advantage of the puter time, but not wanting to leave it in the car...you see hel is responsible now...it took what? twenty something years...such is life...then i have to go to my moms to visit with the kiddies...also to use her puter...i have to figure out this stoopid page to register with the govt...i almost have it done, but it bumped me off when i was idle and now says password attempt is incorrect...now to think of what i made up...it has to have one lower case or upper case a number and a special key,oh and 8 letters long...not used to such a long process...well what else for today??? i believe i must visit my friends at tre tomorrow...must get to the bottom of this...i know i havent worked there in forever and a day, but i love tre and my jon and ned...as far as music is concerned there was a two for tuesday this morning on the way here...nirvana...first smells like teen spirit, the obvious song...but followed by jesus dont want me for a sunbeam...i know it didnt belong to kurt, but still...and going into music,have i mentioned my fascination with queens of the stone age and white stripes??? flippin genius...i dont have much to write cos my promo people are not diggin hel anymore...how sad...but i will come back...i promise...dear hel and the whole nine including interviews and such...lets see what i can do...but focusing on my agri-side i have not much time to beg and plead for music...they are prolly goin to tell me download the shit...cos i dont think they even make cd's anymore...lol...well, no,not lol...you can tell my wait is longer than expected so i am going to go through my dearest friends blog-k...so she doesnt shout at me anymore...she says such mean hateful things...im just joshing!

phantom tongue ring

i have written about this in the past but i have always pretty much had at least one tongue ring in at a time...but i took out my last tongue ring and i think for good...its sad cos i miss my tongue ring..it has been a part of my body since i was 18...the second came out and in a few times in the last years...now i took out the gauged earrings, and i can quite find any that fit without having at least a small gauge...but i dont want that...fooey...getting back to the tongue ring...i even left it in after my seizure doc said you are going to break your teeth...and i responded i already broke some teeth from it..i had a plakstik one for a while but i didnt dig it as much and put the metal one back in...but recently i have noticed that my baby tooth canine(never grew in cos im so sweet they say)is about to fall out..im terrified...but its a baby tooth i am surprised it lasted this long...the only thing i can hope is that the normal tooth that is super up there decides to finally descend...one can only hope..alright all,if you missed it, my tongue ring is not in and i still feel it there...thanx for ur time....late

clustered

well i am pretty much clusterfukd with a bunch of stuff going on right now...chuck and his gig, and my own...who wouldve known getting a grant would be such a mission...but such is life...you want something you gotta do what you gotta do...so now i am on my dear friend sara's computer...she let me borrow her laptop...that floors me...she said she trusts me and knows where i live...i am super obliged...helps things go a smidge faster...i am calling for internet tomorrow, no lie...cant run this stuff without access...ok now as for music i had mentioned the slipknot song--its called snuff...pretty dang decent, if you dug stone sour...and panic swith i can listen to on repeat alot!!! any song that mention pistol whipped makes you think twice,huh??? still trying to get writing gigs and it is not going as well as i wish...but i will continue it cos i cant let writing go...EVER...i was reading my journals from high school and college the other day...flippin funny...i was such a dweeb...no lie...i cant believe i thought i would die on so many occassions over lil crap..lol...ok now on a serious note, i have reason to believe the record exchange will not be owned by plan 9 soon and that sucks...save tre...he needs to be there forever...the end

yes i am a smidge doofy

i am like constantly trying to get people to read this dang blog and i post it on facebook and everything...but this mental giant,your dear hel, had the blogger user name wrong cos helishere was taken...but as you can tell if you went there-its nothing...it should be mine...anyhow i am at my inlaws while my husband cuts the grass..i sit in here with peanut being a smidge more fussy...i think he has realized when he cries we come...well everyone else does, now i walk away...but making sure all essentials are covered...what else???it feels good to use a normal keyboard to type this...little tiny letters on my phone becomes a bit long...well i have some posts for craigslist for my beloved so i will depart here...but heard some songs on the way up to rural hall, that is making me realize not all music of today is dookie...sorry...as i said from the getgo im stuck in the ninetees...such is life...later skaters..

monday monday

here i am at my moms trying to figure out a clusterfuk of things...i cant write this second, but being i had to add my bff blog to follow i had to stop in...oh i must mention on the music front that i totally dig the song from slipknot out now...i think corey channeled his days as stone sour...so thats two newer things i dig, along with silversun...totally dig silversun...


ok so i am adding stuff...i was trying to see what i need to get done...anyhow, i am planning to make some living off of the earth now...my parents(well chucks,but they are mine now too)have land galore...i want to grow a bunch of veggies...and hopefully can them...who wouldve thought that hel would work from the land...but hey there are no jobs...we must fend for ourselves..and hopefully get the chance to sell some homegrown stuff to y'all...no not that kind...

so good juju my way, as i always send it to you...
much obliged for stopping in...
late

the longest day EVER

so i start off this am by taking mai to skool..it wasnt a pretty morning cos she was cranky as usual, and just fouled up my morning..then took peanut to the doc..he is ok but just to be sure...what else??? then picked up my mother in high point...took her to winston salem....actually my house...until chuck picked her up to go get a car...around 6 i felt like i was going to pass out cos peanut got chuck sick, hence chuck got me sick and today was ucky...so i took a nap while chuckles changed the oil on my moms vehicle...woke up cos we had to drive her back to high point, with two cars, cos she doesnt drive at night...peanut has been a load of fun today too!!! im just sick so im sensitive and feel like kickin ass... :)

i must explain

England is a bitch are lyrics from linton kwesi johnson...so its inglan in the song but its rasta,but happens to be my last name...so any other of my dear england family happens to read the blog,it has nothing to do with u...well today went downtown to get some crap taken care of...more like finding mai's father,which I see as a sperm donor...but I won't speak ill altho its been 6 yrs since he's called her...this kinda feels like a diary...talked to an old dear friend,that has been missed...what else?went to mais softball practice...love it...so much chisme,its like a sewing circle..and peanut has a 10 month old to play with...then came home to have a stk,baked pot,and corn on the cob from the grill...I thank my beloved...peanut has been fussy due to a cold/teething/time change so its a triple whammy,cos he isn't himself...he is so NOT fussy...plus u feel bad that i can't take it away...i have to post some pics...I must mention that I'm really...foo!!! chuck asked me a question and i totally forgot what i was going to write here...and I really am interested to know the answer...foo...ill let u know...oh i got it!!!u see i remembered i dig silversun pickups and this is odd cos i don't dig ,well i can't explain...but I remember listening to an earlier cd like 3 years ago or 4 I dunno...so I will explore further...nite..

england is a bitch

hello anyone out there...just wanted to blog tonight...I'm trying to get u to read this and any upcoming ones...planning album reviews and/or music queries...dear hel is always here...no promises but I'd try...just put peanut to bed...the time change has really fooed him up...oh so the main reason i wanted to write...earlier,while on our way to high point I turned the opposite way...the ludey way...just chill pretty backroads but takes longer...so I changed my mind to go on the hwy...anyhow,I stopped at a local gas station and on the counter was this paper called the slammer...I grabbed one to take and he said a dollar fifty...I gladly paid it...its got a lot of failure to appear but then dwi,child fukn pervs and such...I wish this paper was in everyone in guilford. randolph,forsyth and wherever else it covers-in every mailbox...in kendall(miami-305 in da house...lol)they would put in the mailbox quarterly...I know u could find it on the internet,but how many times have u thought about it...btw-i know how to write sans elipses and lower case for any who wishes...potential writing gigs...and to convince some promo people to not forget hel...and just to give u my random thoughts...thx for caring...late,hel